Yesterday I was with a girl, she’s a daughter of a friend of my mother. She’s about 40 years now although she appears quite younger. She’s still studying.. officially that’s how the story goes. She’s been studying in college since she was 18 so why the hell is she studying for so long? Well basically she is runs one of the three types of unhealthy emotional coping mechanisms for survival: avoidance.
The other two are surrender and compensation but I’ll stick to avoidance for now. Avoidance is the mechanism that turns us away from pain so that we don’t get hurt too much that we make take some moments of our lives, However if turn that into a rule we’ll run away from all the pain in life and end up avoiding life itself.
This girl had only job trial teaching some kids. She was already too far away from life to manage this new situation since she has been avoiding everything difficulty. She is the daughter of an emotional ill mother which is totally turned to herself and a full blown narcissist. I can only image that avoidance was her only escape from her world gorging mother. She can’t now find a man or even want to find a job because she’s used to run form everything potentially hurtful in her life and she’ll miss the great struggle of life and the joys that come after the pain